OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I smell stomach acid.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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