you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
