Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
