..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize