Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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