like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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