You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We got so high we made milksteak
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize