i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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