your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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