But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
