Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
