I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
MIDGETS
????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
