just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize