When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
