I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize