The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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