Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
