I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My liver just had a heart attack.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
