its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
