i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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