Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
