he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
