I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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