its not stalking. its research.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
