i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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