I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
