I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
