Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
