No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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