Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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