I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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