Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
