Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
