fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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