i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
