Do you still have your period?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
