you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
