By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
