I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize