Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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