What a fucking waste of an outfit
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
