honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Tell her she can't have a vagina
we made out on top of his cat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
