Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
