i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
