This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
