i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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