I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
