giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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