I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
