I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
