So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
