i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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