dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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