i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
