dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
