Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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