she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
