The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
