Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
