I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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