dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
