walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
