i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
it's like iHOP with fire
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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