Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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