dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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