dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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