ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
