i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
