happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
