I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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