you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
